Pure Hatred

Is what i am feeling right now, all about my ugly fucking self. What is the point in anything? We live we die, you love, you cry, you get hurt no matter what. Ugh.

I let myself down, i had some more calories yes more, call me a fat bitch, i know, i am actually so dissapointed, todays total is  300 but i was sick so i don't know ?
My best friend listened at the door, and then had a go at me about it, i couldn't help but cry she is the one person i thought i could count on to not judge me no matter what and yeah looks like i was wrong with that theory.
I just feel so useless and like no matter what i do i fail, so i decided to invest in some 8 cal jello, omnom.
Tomorrow that will be my saviour i'm thinking.  I just want to hurt myself and cry and scream and shout. i am an absolute fucking failure to all you girls, i just let you down and i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry.