Make or Break...

I kinda made a big decision. I've already stepped  back from many of my friendships because simply i have nothing to put into the friendships, especially time. But my best friend, she's been there through everything, she worries about me, and i hate it, i hate that i'm hurting her. But things aren't getting any better for me and with each day my mind slowly becomes less and less mine. I've told her for her own sake we have to stop being friends, it absolutely breaks my heart but to persevere i need to do this. I just want to cry and curl up in a ball, my life seems so hopeless, pointless and like there is no end to my misery.
I feel so lonely, yet if i let anyone close i just hurt them so i push them away, i guess what i really want right now, is a hug.