From tomorrow i have a plan, a good one at that. i will succeed, i will be thin.

I can't deal with being fat anymore, it is making me so unbelievably miserable and sad, i see people and think wow, then look at me and feel sick, THIS.IS.IT, i must not eat. NO. NO. thin is the most important thing to me. DIETDIETDIET EMS!

i was a dirty slut and its all my dfault i asked for it and its all my fucking fault i deserved everything that happened and i cant espACE IT SO THE ONLY WAY TO I89S TO die dideidideiedidieiedieiedkidieieididieie so 9 sh0duyod dideidieiddieieieididieei

new day new start, camping tomorrow :/

I have decided that for every 5 lbs i lose, i shall reward myself. winwinwin.

Tuesday 25th July 2011

00:00 - 100 sit ups.

01:00 - 09:00 - Sleep

09:30 - Cycle 2.2 miles (My house to my sister's grave)

10:30 - Cycle 2.2 miles back

11:30 - Let myself eat a banana crumble baby food meal

12:00 - Do 50 star jumps

12:30 - Walk to the chemists and get mum's prescription

13:15 - Dance on the wii, do 6 songs. ( 20 minutes)

14:00 - Do 100 sit ups, reps of 10.

15:00 - Hoover and wash up

16:00 - 20:00 - Chill & 7pm banana

20:00 - 60 sit ups

21:00 - 50 star jumps

22:00 - 50 star jumps

23:00 - chill

Urgh

Mega binged, likle literally thousands of calories.
HATE fat fatfatfatfat Could literally die, stab myself, diediediediedie.

ANGRY

As mad. My best friend is over, annoying the fuck out of me.
She puts her bare feet on my fucking bed, it pisses me off like nuts.
URGHHH i hate feet.
That is all.

Guess what

You're beautful. Yeah, i'm on about you. You are. I hate seeing you guys sad. :( BIG HUGS!

my shop.

Please check out my online shop
http://www.etsy.com/shop/teamsimmo1970?ref=si_shop

Well pleased.

Mum has agreed to NOT go searching for my blog anymore :)
So i' back onit like sonic, im freee :')

Gah

had 3 pieces of rockyroad today and like, a billion cuppa tea's so full!!

Gah

had 3 pieces of rockyroad today and like, a billion cuppa tea's so full!!

please

Please follow the new blog! http://hiding-an-ed.blogspot.com/

Sorry about the ads,

Being paid to post them :)
I kn0ow they're annoying but tbh i need some moneys :)
IM FREE NOW!
No longer IP, :) it sucked dick.
That is all for now, peace out. xxx

IP STILL

Still inpatient, moved to manchester, cheadle, i'm hating it, on leave atm for 4 hrs, arghh!

coming home hopefully for good next week!!!
xx

IP

inpatient sucks. end of.

MEH, IP tomorrow or thursday fucking terrified!

been a while,

I went to my psyciatrist today, i wrote him a letter, explaing how food takes over my life, how i cry, i want to kill myself about 5 times a day minimum, how i just can't cope, he's put me on prozac as a last attempt.
He has referred me to birmingham psyciatric place, to go for a few months, i have 2 weeks to stop feeling this way or i'm in, i'm terrified.

-_-_-_-_-

Well, today have had 598. And i'm done for the day, feel a fat pig but you know.
Uhm, my life is shit again, i cry everyday hugging mom, i just i don't know everything has gone downhill for me.

uRGH.

i just feel like rubbish.
Just bleh, nothing works out or  goes my way, everything in life seems to fail for me, i'm slowly slipping again, back down, down down down. under the radar, i'm sinking and i want someone to reach out and help me. Please? Anyone?
Ye.

Mhmm.

Everything is just so fuckedup anddifferent.
No matter what i eat it feels too much, every little bite, what is up with me?
I hate this, idoidoido.

HAPPY.

Yes, i sure am.
0 Calories yet. well diet cokeee.
I don't even remotely want to eat, what's the point?
I want to be thin, i want her. I love her.
Mhmmm, revision crazy, i'm so bloody happy!

:@:@:@:@

I am actually pretty fuming. Try to be nice and :@ well fuck you.
This is MY blog, don't like what i am saying well fuck off, don't message me and tell me.
I am a useless worthless fat bitch, i know that.
But you, YOU?!?!?!
You think you can fucking judge me, well you can't.
Because i'm fat what i say doesn't count. Yeah, right, ok.
I WILL lose weight, and be smaller than you, then you have to listen, when i am thin and beautiful, then you will listen to me, then you will see what i say should count, it's just completely unfair.
Right, tomorrow, from then absolutely everything will completely change, fuck the "sensible dieting"
Fuck it. Fuck you. Fuck me.
Tomorrow what shall i have? Well ideally i would like fuck all. But you know, i hate being such a disgusting skank.
Orange Hot Chocolate - 40 calories.
Prawn noodles 
1/3 Pack of Prawns - 38 calories.
1/2 a slab of noodles - 86 calories.
Garlic Powder, Basil, Parsley and Oregano - 10 Calories.
Cooking oil - 4 Calories.
Alltogether - 118
Wow, so far 158, terrific.
Eggwhite Omelette
3 Eggwhites - 48 calories.
1/3 Prawns ( love them) - 38 Calories.
Garlic powder - 10 Calories.
Oil - 20 Calories.
Alltogether - 116
So far, 276.
Hmmm. I will let myself have 1 more hot chocolate too?
So that's 316.
Apples are nice and snacky, mhmmm. I will have an apple later than night, so that's 376?
Yeah, why not, one final Hot chocolate that night  so, 416.
Yupp that will do me, bit calmer now. Taken me 13 minutes to post this.  Watching some murder programme. I just want to cry, why does everyone hate me? I only try to do good, i absolutely promise. :'(.
If you're reading this and you too hate me, please could you message me, on here, msn, pt, email, text, anything. Please, just tell me why, i try to do good, I just don't get it.

I stopped

Taking my Antidepressants, to prove i don't need them.  I just want to cry, i have a blade next to me, ready for self harm, kill me, save me, please.