-_-_-_-_-

Well, today have had 598. And i'm done for the day, feel a fat pig but you know.
Uhm, my life is shit again, i cry everyday hugging mom, i just i don't know everything has gone downhill for me.

uRGH.

i just feel like rubbish.
Just bleh, nothing works out or  goes my way, everything in life seems to fail for me, i'm slowly slipping again, back down, down down down. under the radar, i'm sinking and i want someone to reach out and help me. Please? Anyone?
Ye.

Mhmm.

Everything is just so fuckedup anddifferent.
No matter what i eat it feels too much, every little bite, what is up with me?
I hate this, idoidoido.

HAPPY.

Yes, i sure am.
0 Calories yet. well diet cokeee.
I don't even remotely want to eat, what's the point?
I want to be thin, i want her. I love her.
Mhmmm, revision crazy, i'm so bloody happy!

:@:@:@:@

I am actually pretty fuming. Try to be nice and :@ well fuck you.
This is MY blog, don't like what i am saying well fuck off, don't message me and tell me.
I am a useless worthless fat bitch, i know that.
But you, YOU?!?!?!
You think you can fucking judge me, well you can't.
Because i'm fat what i say doesn't count. Yeah, right, ok.
I WILL lose weight, and be smaller than you, then you have to listen, when i am thin and beautiful, then you will listen to me, then you will see what i say should count, it's just completely unfair.
Right, tomorrow, from then absolutely everything will completely change, fuck the "sensible dieting"
Fuck it. Fuck you. Fuck me.
Tomorrow what shall i have? Well ideally i would like fuck all. But you know, i hate being such a disgusting skank.
Orange Hot Chocolate - 40 calories.
Prawn noodles 
1/3 Pack of Prawns - 38 calories.
1/2 a slab of noodles - 86 calories.
Garlic Powder, Basil, Parsley and Oregano - 10 Calories.
Cooking oil - 4 Calories.
Alltogether - 118
Wow, so far 158, terrific.
Eggwhite Omelette
3 Eggwhites - 48 calories.
1/3 Prawns ( love them) - 38 Calories.
Garlic powder - 10 Calories.
Oil - 20 Calories.
Alltogether - 116
So far, 276.
Hmmm. I will let myself have 1 more hot chocolate too?
So that's 316.
Apples are nice and snacky, mhmmm. I will have an apple later than night, so that's 376?
Yeah, why not, one final Hot chocolate that night  so, 416.
Yupp that will do me, bit calmer now. Taken me 13 minutes to post this.  Watching some murder programme. I just want to cry, why does everyone hate me? I only try to do good, i absolutely promise. :'(.
If you're reading this and you too hate me, please could you message me, on here, msn, pt, email, text, anything. Please, just tell me why, i try to do good, I just don't get it.

I stopped

Taking my Antidepressants, to prove i don't need them.  I just want to cry, i have a blade next to me, ready for self harm, kill me, save me, please.